Thoughts

Are Millennials Falling Out of Love With Love?

Are millennials, people who, as well as Instagramming their mother’s lasagne and exhibiting entrepreneurial streaks not seen before in any other generation, falling out of love with love? It’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot since learning that 64% of millennials happen to be single and I have a few thoughts as to why that might be the case.

First things first, I’m not an effervescent City broker working 15-hour-days trading stocks and entertaining Japanese clients until I pass out on my bedroom floor only to do it again 3 hours later. Neither am I an app developer forgoing a social life to become the next Zuckerberg.

But I am single and work long (ish) hours as a content writer, often writing 3,000 words a day before using the evenings and weekends to make edits or write new passages for my upcoming book. Not that writers, bankers and coders are a special species of grafters.

Indeed, I defy any generation to tell a working millennial they have it easy. Even if you happen to find yourself working behind a bar or waiting tables to ungrateful Yummy Mummies, not only are you earning peanuts, but you’re probably facing the added indignity of being told to wash your hands before dinner when you get home. And who wants that?

So, of course, with little time or money to see friends let alone go out and talk to someone you like at God forbid… a bar, most turn to paradoxical dating apps that promise a litany of potential partners when in reality you probably won’t meet 1% of your matches.

Instead, dating apps are used as ephemeral time-wasters that rarely lead to anything meaningful because even if you do have the good fortune of matching with someone and convincing them you’re worthy of their time, chances are you’ll probably be too busy to sustain anything beyond the initial bonding phase. Or if you do they’ll likely work 13-hour-days and then entertain their friends on weekends leaving you all but redundant barring the odd booty call.

That said, the saying goes you make time for someone you want to see, and that’s somewhat true because if presidents and C.E.Os can structure their professional lives around family and friends then why can’t you?

Well, you probably can’t because you haven’t got much money, you don’t know where you’re going in life, or if you do know or happen to have the good fortune of already being there, how do you convince yourself to slow down for a romantic liaison that could or couldn’t lead somewhere?

I guess we are all at different stages, though whether that means we are falling out of love with love itself is hard to quantify. Perhaps my generation has simply fallen privy to a more ruthless and self-seeking capitalist economy flexing its muscles? Or let the looks of Instagram models subconsciously trick us into thinking that potential partners need flawless jawlines similar to theirs? Heck, even the ‘feel good’ film La La Land told us that, you, too, could lead a life like the stars if you had the willpower to say no to Ryan Gosling.

Whatever the reasons, I believe most millennials still want to find love and enjoy all that it encompasses, but the idea of finding it in an era where one’s lifestyle moves at a faster pace than a Jamaican relay team’s has many throwing in the towel at the first hurdle, because, let’s face it: We’ve become better equipped at being on our own.

And quite frankly; I can’t see that changing anytime soon.

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